¡Ay, Dios mío!


Written right after lunch yesterday…

I am sitting here. Trying not to vomit. Trying not to think about what I just ate. Brushing my teeth. Washing my hands. Don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it. Why is my life a joke?

Cows heart. I FUCKING ate cows heart for lunch. Yes that deserves a fully written out swear word. Do you understand how absolutely disgusting and freakish that is? Well I did it, and I had no idea what I was eating until after. And now I am queasy. And not just queasy from thinking about what I ate, but actually queasy. Apparently that is something they eat regularly here. Which is scary. At least I can cross that off my list. Eat heart. Cause obviously that was on my list of things to do.

I spent the afternoon recovering from my choice in lunch foods. Then I went with Rocio and Paula to the salon. We are going to the beach for the weekend tomorrow, which meant body parts had to be waxed. I don’t wax. Simply because I did it for a year in 9th grade and I got sick of it. So 6 ish years later, in Peru I decide it’s a good time to try it again. I opted only to get my upper legs done- baby steps right? OH GOOD LORD. The woman takes me to the back points to some rooms and says “primero”. So I go back and sit in the first room while I wait. She doesn’t speak any English and I only speak a little Spanish. There I am about to get waxed by someone I can barely communicate with. She tells me to take off my pants in Spanish which I don’t understand until she starts to help me. So the pants come off. And the waxing begins, OW. This is not like wax I have seem before. It doesn’t just kind of hurt, it really hurts. Then in the middle of it, she answers her phone. And continues to try an talk on the phone and wax my legs at the same time. Which is awkward and involves more touching than necessary. After she finishes (I am laying on my stomach, pantless, at this point) I try to quickly get up and KICK HER in the chest. Lo siento lo siento I say. Oh good lord. I scurry out of there. And because I want you all to share the pain of what I went through, I am sharing this picture with you:

There is no way this is normal? My hostbrother goes AHHH WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? You have little red points all over. If it is not gone in the morning and I have to wear a bikini all weekend with a rash. That could be embarrassing.

We have good days and we have bad days. One day this will be a funny day.


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