Before I start this post I want to reassure all of you of something. We (Sinds and I) made a pact yesterday. We promise that we will not turn this into a straight up travel blog. Obviously our stories will revolve around where we are, but we will refrain from gushing about scenery, museums and food. I PROMISE. This post will be a little traveley, but the following posts will be strictly jokes.
Moving forward. Lets consider the facts. I am in a third world country, where they speak Spanish and I speak English. For two months. Things are going to get funny. In fact things are already are funny. It began with packing. I was scrubbing the soles of my shoes with a toothbrush and bleaching the insides of them. No, that is not a joke. Then putting each pair in their own freezer size Ziploc bag. I realized how ridiculous I was being, but didn’t know what to do about it. [Side story- I went to Spain last summer for 2 weeks where I hiked 200 miles and only had my backpack and like 4 shirts with me. So I am not always so absurd.] I was going somewhere for 3 months and I had no idea what I needed, but I knew I needed to be prepared. Well I got here, and in the 4 hours I have been awake I have already realized that I did not bring the right attire. It is summer down here, and very warm. Everything I brought is too tight, too short or to hot. But I will survive, I’m sure of it.
I thought living in a third world country was going to be a little rougher, not as nice as I was used to. Well it turns out I was wrong. My host family has a live in housekeeper/cook. For breakfast she literally put watermelon chunks in a blender and made me watermelon juice. It was great, but I had never seen such a thing. Then she made us lunch, and we don’t even have to put our dishes in the sink. My host brother said that on the weekend when Delia (the housekeeper/cook) goes home they eat food like pizza and more soda hahaha. They also have a house at the beach. It seems like I lucked out. Now all I have to do is learn how to teach English (Dee/Sinds expect many questions on “how to teach”). I have never taught a thing in my life. I have zero idea how to be a teacher. And if you have ever heard me try an explain something, well you understand why this might be a little out of my league.
Next the brother gave me a tour of the house, in which he proceeded to explain A- what stairs where and B- how to use them. He also explained how to open a door and what a bathroom was for. Ok look, just because I speak English and am from the United States does not mean I am stupid. And he’s 11, so it’s not like some cute 4 year old being silly. I’m fairly sure he was making fun of me.
There is also this little detail; I am actually locked in the house. They have a gated entrance with a keypad in order to get in. Well the mom left, the dad is at work, the sister has not been here yet, and the brother disappeared. So if I leave, I get locked out. Because I don’t know the code and have no idea how to get back in. So here I am, in South America… locked in inside. LOVE IT. Hahaha. So when locked in what does one do? Obviously blog.
They have a dog. And yes I let it lick me and jump on and me and I EVEN pet it. I obviously don’t want to be rude. I don’t love touching it, but I also don’t completely hate it. If you are actually friends with me, you can imagine me touching a dog and yes laugh.
Finally, I have updated The Room. I expect Sinds will do the same when she arrives at her destination, although maybe not within 5 minutes. Because I suspect she will not be locked in.