There’s people out there who read this blog. I don’t know who you are but according to our site stats you exist. And you exist beyond the few of our friends that we gave the link to. Whether you read it and say “this is stupid” or “this is funny” or didn’t even read it at all, I do not know. Until WordPress gets some insane technology for its stat counting. But anyway, you exist. So thank you. I obviously wish to get my 15 minutes of internet-fame someday and maybe you will help me do that.
Anyway, for those of you who still aren’t convinced that my life is a motherfucking joke, why don’t you listen to my day.
1. I slept as late as I wanted because I had no responsibilities today. Not only do I have no responsibilities today, but I also don’t have any responsibilities until February 2nd, 2011. That is when I begin my journey to New Zealand. So I’ve got about a month of straight up nothing. Nothing.
2. I went to breakfast with my friends because it was one of their birthdays. When we finished our bagels we just chilled and made fun of all the high schoolers that were skipping 5th period at the bagel place. Not one but TWO old lady divas in (faux?) fur coats and horn rimmed glasses came over and sang to our friend whose birthday it was. We saw several high school hook ups/frenemies/random people that were in our classes and commented on their apperance and how it has changed since the last time we saw them.
3. Neil and I went to lunch (notice how this is immediately after I went to breakfast) with a friend who was leaving two hours later to study abroad in Barcelona. We unknowingly stole Hobos (a delicious sandwich including but not limited to fried egg, cheese, hashbrown, bacon, SPK) and iced teas and talked about how our parents hooked us up with the experience of a lifetime (studying abroad). Neil and the friend got sentimental as they reflected on how their winter break started, one month prior. Which was with hobos. We said goodbye and told our friend we’d see him in July. No biggie.
*PS Hilltop Deli, sorry about not paying for those hobos…
4. Neil and I drove to the mall. Not the local mall, which is about a 10 minute drive, but the mall that has 16 Handles, which is about a 25 minute drive. Yup. Drove 25 minutes for frozen yogurt, immediately after eating Hobos which was immediately after bagels. I don’t understand how I’m not obese. Anyway, while listening to B.o.B.’s new mixtape and doing a series of animated dance moves, we made animal sounds (dolphin, goat, sheep, bird, etc) for a straight 25 minutes. Once again, NO BIGGIE. It’s not like we have anything better to do.
Once at the mall we made frozen yogurt masterpieces. Mine is always the same – vanilla froyo with strawberries, blueberries, and crushed oreos. Neil’s had sprinkles and kiwi and granola and other weird shit on top. Then we visited Floater who, unlike us, actually has responsibilities and works at Nordstroms. Then, I kid you not, we went to the food court and split french fries. Not only is my life a joke but it is also a joke that involves a lot of food. I swear to you when I come back from New Zealand I am going to be broke and fat. While binging on the oily goodness I looked at Neil and wondered aloud, what are all these people DOING here? It’s a thursday at 2:30. Shouldn’t they be somewhere? Sholudn’t they be at work?! Neil just looked at me. “Shouldn’t WE be somewhere?!” But no. We shouldn’t. We have nowhere to be, no one to answer to. WE’RE MOTHER FUCKING FREE. And, somehow, we choose to spend our time binge eating at the mall. My life is a joke. But it’s also kind of not a joke because after the mall I did something very profound and important.
5. I had a photoshoot with Neil’s pup, Baylie, who is not as photogenic as I am.