Is it 2011 yet?


I should probably write about New Years Eve, but the truth is there is too little that I actually remember to make it into a real, coherent story.  I can piece my night together based on a few pieces of information.
What I remember:
I arrived at my destination at 9:35pm at which point I purchased the “Top Shelf Open Bar” wristband.
What Other People Told Me:
-Somewhere around 11pm I was seen, wide-eyed and staring at one of my friends, with my jacket on.  “What are you doing?”  No answer.  Just staring.  “Helloooo, what are you doing?”  Still no answer.  “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?????”  I finally respond: “I lost my bag.”  Friend points to bag, which I am holding.  Friend walks away.
-Approximately 11:15 I am waiting outside, on the floor, with two strange men who inform Neil of my intoxicated sate.  I run to the cab Neil and his friends are in, open the door, take my shoes off, then book it down Route 303.  Even if you do not know what Route 303 is, it is safe for you to assume that I should not have been running down it.

So yeah that was my night, and I guess it’s 2011 now although I don’t know for sure because I didn’t see the ball drop.

One time actually did lose my bag though and I’ll tell you about that time but you have to promise not to judge me.  You also have to promise that you won’t try this at home because although it’s funny now it was really dangerous and I shouldn’t have done it.

I was at some fraternity house with my friends, partying it up, probably stealing hats, and having a good time.  But for some unnecessary reason or another I got in a fight with Neil and since we’re hundreds of miles away and I couldn’t go punch him in the face, the next best option was to put myself in danger by leaving the party and walking home alone in a dress and heels in the middle of Vermont winter.  I’m sure one of my friends tried to stop me and I was probably like “I DON’T CARE” in an obnoxious voice, which is pretty much my catch phrase and is applicable (or I make it applicable) in nearly every situation I’m in.

So anyway I’m stumblin‘ through the 20 minute walk to my sorority house.  It had never occurred to me to

a. not leave the party

b. call a friend to pick me up

c. call “ben” (aka the taxi company Benway’s, my usual solution)

d. call my house to see if anyone is awake to come pick me up

…all of which would have been a lot easier and safer than walking.  But no.  All of a sudden a car pulls up next to me and stops, so naturally I stop too.  As a window rolls down I can see there are three people in the car, none of which I know, and a girl sticks her head out and is all,

“Girl you should not be walking by yourself it’s like totes cold out and super dangerous for you to be walking by yourself.”

Me: [Sniffle]  I’m okay.

Girl: Girl you are not okay.  Where are you going?

Me: I’m just going home.

Girl: Get in the car, girl, I’ll drive you

Me: Using the word ‘girl’ like that is so fake and like, you don’t even know me!  No I will NOT get in the car with a group of strangers! Okay!

And then they drove me home.  Luckily I was not raped or murdered.  BUT I did leave my bag in their car.  Now a complete stranger has my bag, fake id, school id, my chapstick, dark blue Orbit gum, a small sum of cash, and my dignity.  My life is a joke.


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