I have a sad announcement to begin this post with. Sinds and I spent part of yesterday communicating about the illness and subsequent death of our fish. StarFire and SunBurst became suddenly sick and as the day passed, they passed.
Not only is my life a joke, but I am starting to think my entire existence is a joke. Sometimes I literally want to pinch myself, just to make sure this is all real. But don’t worry, I am not masochistic enough to actually cause myself pain. I’ll leave that to those who like BDSM. Alexandra can enlighten you with a wonderful documentary if you are curious. Ahh but I digress. Anyways. The New Year is upon us and I am going to share with you my resolutions for the New Year. I am going to keep it to 5, lets be realistic here. They aren’t exactly “funny” but I figure if I put them in writing like this, maybe I will keep them.
1. Ride another exotic animal. I love being ridiculous. There is just no other way to say it. I do things, simply to say I did them. For instance this summer I was in Curacao and in my pre-trip research (yes, I am that OCD) I discovered an ostrich farm existed. So I made us go, take the tour and then I rode an ostrich. It was bizarre, and dirty and uncomfortable. But, wow I felt worldly. HAHA. So my goal this year is to find another animal- hopefully even weirder- and ride it.
2. Take better care of my nails. It’s becoming an unhealthy obsession. I got my nails done twice in the last week. They have been 6 different colors in the last two weeks. I bought two new colors today. But it’s sheer pleasure to look down and see this glossy new color. Always glittery and shiny. So this year, I will work to recognize and appreciate the little things in life. Even if it’s just glitzy nails.
3. Be less of a Scorpio. Ok so I recently started following @ZodiacFacts on twitter. It’s slowly becoming one of MY LIFE BAD DECISIONS. Let me tell you about the tweets I read every day. They go something like this: “A #Scorpio has perfect control over his or her emotions and they will always retain their faultless poise despite the haters” “Infact #Scorpios deliberately practice a vacant look. The same goes for their body posture also.” “If you have asked for a #Scorpio opinion, you will get the brutal truth, without any sugar coating even if it hurts your feelings”…… If you weren’t already scared of me, well maybe you should be. Literally, is this a joke? Here is a screen shot of todays “sccorpio facts”:
4. Act more like those kids on Glee. You know how whenever they are sad, or mad, or ecstatic they just start singing. In the hallways, in their room, in the mall. Anywhere. Well, I have decided I want to be just like them. Whenever I feel emotion, I WILL SING. If you had the privilege of seeing me do karaoke, well- you are likely cringing at this moment.
5. Live modestly for a week. One time, I said I come from a modest background. A few unnamed individuals laughed in my face. So I have decided I would like to experience it to the best of my ability. I will go one week with no eating out, no getting my nails done, no shopping, no crazy trips, no movies, no excess. I know to some of you, this sounds like a joke. But I think it will be a good experience and I will reap many benefits from it. So there!
It’s going to be a joke of a year. LAUGH, and don’t stop.