Update — this post has been sitting in “drafts” for several days. It’s embarrassing. But since KP recently posted her travel qualms I feel a little bit better about posting it. Even just writing it made me feel better, actually. P.S. I love when you’re reading something that’s in italics and then there’s a word that’s actually supposed to be stressed or in italics for some other reason so then it has to be put in regular, non-italicized font. See above sentence.
Warning–I have absolutely no plan to what I’m about to write. I’m bugging out because I’m looking outside my window watching the 76th snowstorm of the winter. I think I’ve baked every pastry in Epicurious and I’m literally about to go crazy and it should give me comfort to know that I’m leaving for Los Angeles on Wednesday where it will be 72 degrees and sunny. From there I’m leaving for Auckland, New Zealand where I will be living and studying for the following four months.
But it’s not giving me comfort. Not at all.
Although I’m trading in snow for sand, frat parties for clubs, and sitting on my ass for actual outdoor adventures, I’m
a little really fucking nervous. Because, well, I’m a little bit of a diva.
Case in point #1: This summer when I went to Israel, I had to stay in a hostile (never in my life GOODBYE) but refused to let my body touch the disgusting, G-dforsaken bed so I wrapped myself up completely in hooded sweatshirts and slept without blankets or a pillow for several nights. Not only that, I refused to eat the meals they served us and lived solely on Luna bars and water for eleven straight days.
Case in point #2: Sometimes I need a little guidance and have trouble doing things on my own. Remember this?
Case in point #3: I have a lot of things. They may seem unnecessary to some, but to me, well, I need them. Ie: two types of moisturizer for day and night (day has sunscreen; night has vitamin c) AND a separate moisturizer for the rest of my body. I recently read a book about people that are born on my birthday and it said that I love getting and having “new things” and I think that this is why.
Case in point #4: Have you ever seen this website? Well not one, but two separate people posted it on my Facebook wall saying, “you need to read this [it personifies you].”
So, that being said, I’m nervous that I have to somehow transport all of my millions of objects to the farthest corner of the world, make friends with people who (I’m assuming) are able to live and survive on their own and are very outdoorsy and don’t NEED so many objects. People aren’t going to understand why I need to put on mascara for hikes (pics duh) and make sure I get enough protein and sugar because I don’t eat meat and I’m a little bit self-diagnosed hypoglycemic. People are not going to understand why I need to have a laptop, iPad, iPod, Blackberry, and local New Zealand cell phone. People are not going to understand why I paid extra for both of my suitcases to be overweight. I guess I don’t really understand either. For comfort?
Anyway, I know this is ridiculous. I wish I could pack lightly and not give a shit if I rotate the same four shirts the entire semester. I know there are more important things to worry about, and trust me–I worry about those things too. I’m volunteering in Rotorua and have an internship in which I’m student teaching in an elementary school! Cool right?! I’m living in an apartment with four other complete strangers, only one of which (if any) will be American. So maybe I’ll grow up a little.
I hope none of my new friends (?) read this!