Back up a second, I am going to set the scene for this current posting. I am sitting in one of the more ghetto buildings on campus, in order to complete a treacherous lab for my “mapping class”. I am eating my favorite City Market Sandwich, drinking a Polar Seltzer (DUH) and listening to the Jingle Bell Rock Pandora Station which is currently playing “You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch”. I have left my phone in the car in the fear that someone will ask me to do something that is more entertaining than being academic. I have a 5 page paper due Wednesday that I have not begun, a quiz on Wednesday that I HAVE to get an A on as well as this crazy lab due tomorrow at midnight. Yet here I sit blogging. Post a lengthy fish adventure. What a joke.
…For our friendly aquatic friends. It all began on Sunday afternoon when I decided in an attempt to be productive I was going to clean the fish tank. Sinds decided to help, so we head to the bathroom with the fish tank, 2 glow fish, a glass vase and soup ladle in tow. I begin my attempt at catching these speedy little fish with the ladle, suffice to say I was having no success. After a couple scrapes and bumps, in fear that I may smash the fish, Sinds takes over. Much more talented than I, she successfully catches both fish. During this process I discover that in a mere 2 weeks the filter has started to mold. EW. Anyways, we get everything all nice and clean, fill the tank back up and then must catch the fish again. I make another attempt at catching that ends in Sinds yelling that I am going to make the fish bleed. So we decide that if we slowly pour the water into the ladle over the sink eventually the fish will come with the water and land in the ladle. All while being careful we don’t go so fast that the fish ends up down the drain. First fish was a success, the second one not so much. The water gets so low that the fish is flopping around in the bottom and we are both laughing so hard that we just can’t do anything about it. Eventually we get the poor guy dumped into the tank.
So today, in an effort to prevent the mold from occurring again I head to Petco to purchase a new filter pad. Supposed to be an in and out errand. But I obviously have to just check out the fish tanks, and see that they have a NEW COLOR GLO-FISH IN! I immediately go in search of a sales associate, and find a nice woman named Olivia. I show Olivia the fish I want, telling her it’s the orange one. Now Olivia goes and gets all of the things she needs to catch the fish and comes out with a freaking pink one. I already have a pink one and although I try not to be a demanding customer tell her I actually wanted the orange one. She has me come point out the exact fish that I want in this tank that is swimming with orange, yellow and pink glow fish (which in and in itself is a joke, was she really going to get me that exact fish? yeah I don’t think so). Anyways, she has the plastic container in hand and the net in the other hand. She goes in for the swoop and after a small struggle, gets the orange fish. Pulls it out and starts walking away from the tank only to realize that she didn’t put any water in the container. Which means my teeny tiny little orange fish is flopping around in the net and she is not even doing anything about it. Finally she realizes her mistake and rushes back to the tank to get water and submerse the fish for a little bit- thank god the little guy was fine.
I arrive home with the fish and think that I- on my own- will be able to successfully transfer the fish from the bag (you know those plastic bags they fill with air and then tie off at the very top) into the tank. So here I am holding the top and filter in one hand and the fish bag in the other. I try and start pouring the fish into the tank, but if you have ever tried to pour water out of a plastic bag you know that the bag will just flop over and all pour out. I drop the filter and catch the top of the bag just in the nick of time. Poor fish was almost lost behind Sinds’ dresser. In the end, I was able to get the fish alive in the tank. But it was a little scary for all involved.
You will be happy to know I also purchased a net, for future tank cleanings. The fact that anyone lets me own anything that is a alive is a bit of a joke. The fact that I have now invested this much time taking care of and now reflecting on these dang fish (which will in all likelihood die over thanksgiving break) is even further proof that my life is a joke.
*The ridiculous length of this post is directly proportional to my refusal to begin this whole “homework thing”*